The 3 Most Common Reasons For Divorce – And How To Avoid Them

Posted on 01/07/11 3 Comments

This is a guest article from Thomas Zimmer Ph.D, a well-known marriage counselor in Germany.

Just as there are many common reasons for divorce , there are also many ways to avoid these reasons. When we get married, we expect to spend the rest of our natural lives with the individual that we have just committed ourselves to.

Divorce is definitely an issue that is far from our minds when we commit ourselves to a marriage. In many marriages, though, circumstances and events may lead to a real possibility of divorce. When this occurs, many emotions start to pop up. These include sadness, anger , jealousy, denial, blame, and resentment.

Recent studies in the United States have indicated that the divorce rate is actually declining, but in a comparison study, it has also been found that the number of marriages is also declining. When we look at the year of 2005, we can see that the rate of marriage was at a percentage of 7.5.

Unfortunately, approximately half of these marriages ended in divorce because, in the same year, the divorce rate was at a percentage of 3.6. There are a number of potential problems that can lead to divorce.

Here, I will document the 3 most common reasons for divorce and how to avoid them. If couples are more aware of what actually causes divorce, there could be a higher chance of preventing this from occurring.

Remember, divorces always cost more than marriages – physically, mentally, and emotionally….

Reason 1: Communication

Communication has been found to be a core element in all of our relationships. This, however, is one of the ultimate essentials to a marriage.

There comes a time in many marriages in which two people come to find that it is difficult to communicate. In these instances, a barrier is built between the two individuals. Many emotions may occur as a result of not being able to communicate effectively. In the end, there are high levels of frustration, resentment, and disappointment. The issue of divorce may present itself.

There are many ways that communication difficulties may be resolved. One of the first things that can be done is that if you are suffering from problems due to communication, simply set time aside each day to talk. This does not have to be a serious talk, maybe just about your day, or things happening in your world. If there are pent up emotions, it is best to address these, but in a calm and rational manner. If this fails to work, marriage counseling may be a reasonable consideration.

Reason 2: Unfaithfulness

Unfaithfulness or “cheating” is also considered to be a major contributor when it comes to considerations for divorce. This occurs when either the man or woman seeks some form of companionship – specifically, physical – in a partner outside of the marriage.

There are several different reasons that this may occurs. It is often a way to find something that feels “lost” in the marriage. This is definitely not appropriate to a marriage. If you feel an inclination to cheat on your spouse, you should consider why and try to resolve the issue.

If you have been cheated on, it will be a long process, but things can be resolved. It is often best to seek outside support on this issue.

Reason 3: Family and Friend Interference

Family and friend interference is often a complication in numerous marriages. Parents, siblings, friends, aunts, uncles…I mean, just anyone who is close to the married couple can really put a damper in that relationship by giving their perspective on situations in the marriage that are truly none of their business – despite their best intentions.

If this is a major problem in your marriage, it is absolutely essential that you kindly explain to these individuals, that while you appreciate their intentions and interests, that this is an issue that is for you and your spouse to work through.

If there are hurt feelings between you and your spouse as a result of these types of situations, you should talk to them with an open mind. Remember to stay calm. If you must, put yourself in their shoes and consider how you would feel.

Encourage your spouse to talk openly, and be a true sounding board for them. This will assist in bringing you closer, and making your relationship stronger than ever!


Marriage is a sacred union between two people, it is not easy and it takes a lot of work.

Divorces do not have to happen. If two people love each other, knowing the reasons for divorce can help you prevent the divorce. By knowing the 3 most common reasons for divorce, you can identify potential problems before they wreck havoc on your relationship.

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